A Universe
of Possibilities
The
universe began as a single hot, dense state billion years ago. There were no
solar systems, no stars, no planets, and there were no human beings. Through a
process known as the “Big Bang,” the universe suddenly expanded. Things that
had never existed until that very moment, such as electrons and nuclei, unexpectedly
formed. Even now the universe continues to expand infinitely. Similarly, I
think of myself as what many physicists think of the universe: full of
unexpected surprises with no definite direction. From the time I was an elementary student to the time I graduated
middle school, my answer to the question, “What do you want to be when you grow
up,” has never been absolute. I have always lived in the moment, never thinking
about the future. From one day to the next my goals can change just like the
stocks on Wall Street: on Tuesday I might want to become a professional
basketball player; Wednesday, a lawyer; Thursday, the President of the United
States. Though I may set a goal for myself, I cannot yet put a definite
statement on whom or what I will become. What I can do, however, is try my best
no matter what obstacles may stand before me.
It was a sweltering summer’s day in
Guangzhou, China. I was only seven years old. My family and I were visiting our
relatives, my Aunt and grandmother on my father’s side. We had just landed at
the airport after a nearly 13 hour-long flight. As we made our way from the
airport to my grandmothers’ apartment, I couldn’t help but notice dozens of
crippled men, women, and children kneeling on every street corner begging for
spare change. Among them, I noticed several children that had horrifically
disfigured bodies and little-to-no clothing on. “What happened to them,” I
asked my mother in Chinese, “They are younger than me!” As we walked by, one of
the children lifted his wooden bowl, pleading for anything we could spare him.
“I’m not sure, but I hear rumors that their family’s owed money that they did
not repay, so this is how they are punished,” she answered, as she shifted
through her purse for some bills to give to the child, “Here, give this to
him.” I dropped the bills into his bowl, only to see it be given to a group of
men that had been keeping watch over the beggars. At that moment, I was
infuriated. I longed to be a cop who had the power to arrest and punish these
petty criminals who took advantage of kids. But I couldn’t. Our family arrived
at my grandmothers’ apartment twenty minutes later; the adults hugged,
gossiped, and drank green tea. My brother and I followed my twelve-year old
cousin, Sam, to the park. I had never played basketball before, but after two
hours, I was having so much fun that I had forgotten all about the children who
were forced to beg for gangs. We went home after playing several pickup games
against Sam’s schoolmates, relaxed by the television and watched the NBA
Playoffs. “Did you know these guys make millions of dollars each year just to
play basketball?” Sam inquired in Chinese. “I would give anything for that,
wouldn’t you?” ‘Of course I would,’ I thought to myself. And just like that, I had changed from
wanting to be a cop to protect others, to longing to become a professional
basketball player.
Even though I still play basketball recreationally, I
have given up on becoming a professional. Right now, my goal is to study
astrophysics at UC Berkeley. I first became drawn to Astrophysics during the
summer of 2011, when I participated in a Cosmology and Physics workshop in the
Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory at the University of California,
Berkeley. During this week-and-a-half long workshop I received lectures on
topics such as Supernovae, the Big Bang, the Large Hadron Collider (LHC), and
Dark Matter from numerous professors, graduate students, and researchers
including George Smoot, Nao Suzuki, and Peter Nugent. I remember during one
such lecture, a student and a teacher were in a heated debate about what came
before the Big Bang. The teacher tried to explain, “Before the Big Bang,
scientists theorize that the universe was a small “ball”, if you will, of
nothing that just suddenly exploded and expanded into what it is now. That’s
the beginning of the universe!” To which the student argued, “How can a “small
ball of nothing” create all of THIS? It just isn’t logical!” Eventually the
debate would simmer down, and the lecture would continue as if nothing had
happened. But to me, that was the most fascinating part of the workshop and it
is what truly fueled my passion. Being able to openly debate with scientists
who had established themselves as prominent researchers, all of whom have made
significant discoveries, gave me an opportunity to express my thoughts as well
as receive feedback from the best in the field! One of the exciting moments of
the workshop was during an activity day. Groups of 4 students were assigned and
each group was given a hand-held cosmic ray detector –In a previous lecture we
learned that Earth is constantly bombarded by millions upon billions of cosmic
rays every second, but few of them ever make it past our atmosphere. Those that
do travel through everything in their paths, you, me, even cement!-and were
given the task of going around campus to test differences in cosmic ray levels
and how elevation effected it. Being able to use tools, albeit miniature
versions, of what researchers use was amazing!
In the week and a half that I spent going to the
workshop, everything else in my life came to a halt. The Hunger Games lay, covered in dust, at the corner of my desk,
replaced by Stephen Hawking’s A Brief
History of Time and anything else related to Physics I could get my hands
on. What was once just an interesting topic had become an obsession. I was
completely immersed in the creation, development, and evolution of the
universe. Long after the terrific lectures and group activities and the
workshops had ended, I continued my research online, following every article
about the LHC, or CERN’s Large Hadron Collider. I was anxious to be the first
to learn about a new, groundbreaking discovery. Not only that, I hoped that one
day I would be the one making new discoveries and inspiring the next generation
of children to do the same.
For that reason, I am now attending Berkeley City
College in order to solidify the education and to prepare me for when I
transfer to the University of California, Berkeley. I might be interested in studying
astrophysics today, but I am uncertain what my goal will be in the future. Like
the infinitely evolving universe, I may change course and become something I
never knew existed. I don’t know what my life will be like twenty years from now;
all I know is that I will do my best to push myself so that I get the best out
of every experience.
I'm in the same boat as you. I want to study Chemical Engineering but I'm not sure if I'll change my mind later on.. Anyways, I liked your essay. We'll figure it out later on!
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